Notes

Once I served The Nothing
My car is full of spiders
______________________________

I am going to cover one eye
I am depleting the quantity of incoming stimuli to the betterment of greater exclusivity
______________________________

Unable or unwilling to differentiate between varying collections of sensory experience and this location is indented and experience [illegible] all of colors and sounds the pressing immediacy of form and object
______________________________

Microfiche

Describe the circumstances in which one would level a flare gun at the horizon instead of vertically: entity one wishes to contact is both known and distant
______________________________

There's this false expectation that a relationship should last forever. And that's ridiculous. Every relationship eventually ends and that's okay. The expectation creates a hostage scenario. And it makes for awkward situations in which you can't be friends with that person or even be around them.
______________________________

Everything is moving but me most of all. I cannot be still I cannot find stillness nor certitude.
______________________________

trying to invent rules mutually exclusive goals worry about spectrum and brain growth rates

1. communicate/provide an authentic representation
2. successfully engage

grapple with the postmodern division that has become too common

do you see what I see? do you hear what I hear?
______________________________

Confessional
Deep leviathan crown prince of the new sincerity I am interested in the development of my personal brand I cannot function independently I am motivated by shame I need a girl who is better than me I am terrified of girls who are better than me I just want to get drunk and talk about dark matter I have a thing for ponytails
______________________________

as mistakes accrue
the extent of work that the muscles do
to hinder and hold what they might of you
truthfully, I don't know what you're going through
______________________________

Haunted House next door
wet rock and curtained windows
slate shingles flecked with oxblood and bleak view obstructed by bare trunks
and telephone wire
scaled siding, cake, spoiled sugar/confection
slime, serpentine
white chimney, cracked ivory darkened fire damage
especially today it's raining
______________________________

a peck, tip of my nose
the few strands that work their way across a headband
the hollow of my arms filled neatly
a soothing of the chest completely
the note I produce is a
vibration/a resonance
I think in D
I think in D
______________________________

this is so simple
a smaller pattern of fewer threads, one band of color,
don't spoil the arrangement
through touch
or at least insensate grabbing
a harsh and directionless need
______________________________

The benefit of breath
is largely
the altitude of momentum
and not
the power to comment on same
as once I suspected
______________________________

Geryon, Moloch
shall we mythologize
______________________________

FAVORITE
CRAVE
______________________________

Brunettes are great because the follicles are filled up so it feels like you're getting your money's worth.
______________________________

Identifying something as awkward says more about your lack of social facility than it does about the situation.
______________________________

"More weight"

The difference is temperance born of fatigue. A blunting of sensation (that allows for a cleaner, more efficient interaction of cogs) I don't feel so much better as *heavier* which mimics the motion of deliberate choice

a chronic but sustainable malaise

Henry Miller's Writing Commandments

1. Work on one thing at a time until finished.
2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to "Black Spring."
3. Don't be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.
4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
5. When you can't create you can work.
6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.
7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.
8. Don't be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.
9. Discard the Program when you feel like it -- but go back to it the next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.
10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.
11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.