Monday, September 17, 2012

Bits


I’m tired of doing bits.

It’s a comedy term that functions by extending a premise; interjecting quippy shit and constant veering away from seriousness or gravity. In this way, sincere communication is sidestepped and your trembling core made inaccessible. We’re protected. We’re validated as intellectually dexterous. We’re safely apart.

I’ve been listening to podcasts like all the time for a while now. It’s not just entertainment. Recently, I have come to realize that this is a form of self-medication. I am attempting to fill a nutritional need through desperate means. Stop what you’re doing and spend some time with the following examples. I present for your consideration:



These are good examples, but by no means the best examples. I have not stacked the deck. Do you have conversations like this? I do not have conversations like this. I used to try and we would really start to get somewhere and then someone would say, “Hey, The Simpsons are coming on” and I would be like, “what the fuck is wrong with you guys?”  

Don’t say it’s because I’m alone. Don’t reduce it that way. It’s not about that; this is a chronic, systemic issue and has been for years and years. Being in a relationship solves nothing in and of itself. Yes, I’m really late to the party on that one. It is the most potentially damaging example – we don’t reach out because there is no guarantee that someone will reach back.   

But when something happens in your life you want to tell someone. Maybe your mom. Your best friend. There are specific people you need to share crucial information with and without that “epilogue” the experience itself seems somehow unreal. You need to complete the circuit. I can’t seem to tell enough people anymore to make anything real. 

Sometimes I fear that the tires are coming off.

The real issue here is not with the group but with the individual. I realize this. Not everyone feels this same compulsion or maybe just not to this degree. It has to be fairly wide, though, right? At least wider? There are things you aren’t talking about. There are things you are not talking about enough. Don’t tell me you’re fine with it. No one can be fine with it. There is something more and you know that instinctively. Maybe your needs are being met but I’m skeptical.

I’m just yelling out the window.



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