Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Moving
Drain the Sea is moving to Tumblr. Set your bookmarks for another year of senseless emotional exhibitionism.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Athenians and Visigoths
by Neil Postman
Members of the faculty, parents, guests, and graduates, have no fear. I am well aware that on a day of such high excitement, what you require, first and foremost, of any speaker is brevity. I shall not fail you in this respect. There are exactly eighty-five sentences in my speech, four of which you have just heard. It will take me about twelve minutes to speak all of them and I must tell you that such economy was not easy for me to arrange, because I have chosen as my topic the complex subject of your ancestors. Not, of course, your biological ancestors, about whom I know nothing, but your spiritual ancestors, about whom I know a little. To be specific, I want to tell you about two groups of people who lived many years ago but whose influence is still with us. They were very different from each other, representing opposite values and traditions. I think it is appropriate for you to be reminded of them on this day because, sooner than you know, you must align yourself with the spirit of one or the spirit of the other.
The first group lived about 2,500 years ago in the place which we now call Greece, in a city they called Athens. We do not know as much about their origins as we would like. But we do know a great deal about their accomplishments. They were, for example, the first people to develop a complete alphabet, and therefore they became the first truly literate population on earth. They invented the idea of political democracy, which they practiced with a vigor that puts us to shame. They invented what we call philosophy. And they also invented what we call logic and rhetoric. They came very close to inventing what we call science, and one of them—Democritus by name—conceived of the atomic theory of matter 2,300 years before it occurred to any modern scientist. They composed and sang epic poems of unsurpassed beauty and insight. And they wrote and performed plays that, almost three millennia later, still have the power to make audiences laugh and weep. They even invented what, today, we call the Olympics, and among their values none stood higher than that in all things one should strive for excellence. They believed in reason. They believed in beauty. They believed in moderation. And they invented the word and the idea which we know today as ecology.
About 2,000 years ago, the vitality of their culture declined and these people began to disappear. But not what they had created. Their imagination, art, politics, literature, and language spread all over the world so that, today, it is hardly possible to speak on any subject without repeating what some Athenian said on the matter 2,500 years ago.
The second group of people lived in the place we now call Germany, and flourished about 1,700 years ago. We call them the Visigoths, and you may remember that your sixth or seventh-grade teacher mentioned them. They were spectacularly good horsemen, which is about the only pleasant thing history can say of them. They were marauders—ruthless and brutal. Their language lacked subtlety and depth. Their art was crude and even grotesque. They swept down through Europe destroying everything in their path, and they overran the Roman Empire. There was nothing a Visigoth liked better than to burn a book, desecrate a building, or smash a work of art. From the Visigoths, we have no poetry, no theater, no logic, no science, no humane politics.
Like the Athenians, the Visigoths also disappeared, but not before they had ushered in the period known as the Dark Ages. It took Europe almost a thousand years to recover from the Visigoths.
Now, the point I want to make is that the Athenians and the Visigoths still survive, and they do so through us and the ways in which we conduct our lives. All around us—in this hall, in this community, in our city—there are people whose way of looking at the world reflects the way of the Athenians, and there are people whose way is the way of the Visigoths. I do not mean, of course, that our modern-day Athenians roam abstractedly through the streets reciting poetry and philosophy, or that the modern-day Visigoths are killers. I mean that to be an Athenian or a Visigoth is to organize your life around a set of values. An Athenian is an idea. And a Visigoth is an idea. Let me tell you briefly what these ideas consist of.
To be an Athenian is to hold knowledge and, especially the quest for knowledge in high esteem. To contemplate, to reason, to experiment, to question—these are, to an Athenian, the most exalted activities a person can perform. To a Visigoth, the quest for knowledge is useless unless it can help you to earn money or to gain power over other people.
To be an Athenian is to cherish language because you believe it to be humankind’s most precious gift. In their use of language, Athenians strive for grace, precision, and variety. And they admire those who can achieve such skill. To a Visigoth, one word is as good as another, one sentence in distinguishable from another. A Visigoth’s language aspires to nothing higher than the cliche.
To be an Athenian is to understand that the thread which holds civilized society together is thin and vulnerable; therefore, Athenians place great value on tradition, social restraint, and continuity. To an Athenian, bad manners are acts of violence against the social order. The modern Visigoth cares very little about any of this. The Visigoths think of themselves as the center of the universe. Tradition exists for their own convenience, good manners are an affectation and a burden, and history is merely what is in yesterday’s newspaper.
To be an Athenian is to take an interest in public affairs and the improvement of public behavior. Indeed, the ancient Athenians had a word for people who did not. The word was idiotes, from which we get our word “idiot.” A modern Visigoth is interested only in his own affairs and has no sense of the meaning of community.
And, finally, to be an Athenian is to esteem the discipline, skill, and taste that are required to produce enduring art. Therefore, in approaching a work of art, Athenians prepare their imagination through learning and experience. To a Visigoth, there is no measure of artistic excellence except popularity. What catches the fancy of the multitude is good. No other standard is respected or even acknowledged by the Visigoth.
Now, it must be obvious what all of this has to do with you. Eventually, like the rest of us, you must be on one side or the other. You must be an Athenian or a Visigoth. Of course, it is much harder to be an Athenian, for you must learn how to be one, you must work at being one, whereas we are all, in a way, natural-born Visigoths. That is why there are so many more Visigoths than Athenians. And I must tell you that you do not become an Athenian merely by attending school or accumulating academic degrees. My father-in-law was one of the most committed Athenians I have ever known, and he spent his entire adult life working as a dress cutter on Seventh Avenue in New York City. On the other hand, I know physicians, lawyers, and engineers who are Visigoths of unmistakable persuasion. And I must also tell you, as much in sorrow as in shame, that at some of our great universities, perhaps even this one, there are professors of whom we may fairly say they are closet Visigoths. And yet, you must not doubt for a moment that a school, after all, is essentially an Athenian idea. There is a direct link between the cultural achievements of Athens and what the faculty at this university is all about. I have no difficulty imagining that Plato, Aristotle, or Democritus would be quite at home in our class rooms. A Visigoth would merely scrawl obscenities on the wall.
And so, whether you were aware of it or not, the purpose of your having been at this university was to give you a glimpse of the Athenian way, to interest you in the Athenian way. We cannot know on this day how many of you will choose that way and how many will not. You are young and it is not given to us to see your future. But I will tell you this, with which I will close: I can wish for you no higher compliment than that in the future it will be reported that among your graduating class the Athenians mightily outnumbered the Visigoths.
Thank you, and congratulations.
Members of the faculty, parents, guests, and graduates, have no fear. I am well aware that on a day of such high excitement, what you require, first and foremost, of any speaker is brevity. I shall not fail you in this respect. There are exactly eighty-five sentences in my speech, four of which you have just heard. It will take me about twelve minutes to speak all of them and I must tell you that such economy was not easy for me to arrange, because I have chosen as my topic the complex subject of your ancestors. Not, of course, your biological ancestors, about whom I know nothing, but your spiritual ancestors, about whom I know a little. To be specific, I want to tell you about two groups of people who lived many years ago but whose influence is still with us. They were very different from each other, representing opposite values and traditions. I think it is appropriate for you to be reminded of them on this day because, sooner than you know, you must align yourself with the spirit of one or the spirit of the other.
The first group lived about 2,500 years ago in the place which we now call Greece, in a city they called Athens. We do not know as much about their origins as we would like. But we do know a great deal about their accomplishments. They were, for example, the first people to develop a complete alphabet, and therefore they became the first truly literate population on earth. They invented the idea of political democracy, which they practiced with a vigor that puts us to shame. They invented what we call philosophy. And they also invented what we call logic and rhetoric. They came very close to inventing what we call science, and one of them—Democritus by name—conceived of the atomic theory of matter 2,300 years before it occurred to any modern scientist. They composed and sang epic poems of unsurpassed beauty and insight. And they wrote and performed plays that, almost three millennia later, still have the power to make audiences laugh and weep. They even invented what, today, we call the Olympics, and among their values none stood higher than that in all things one should strive for excellence. They believed in reason. They believed in beauty. They believed in moderation. And they invented the word and the idea which we know today as ecology.
About 2,000 years ago, the vitality of their culture declined and these people began to disappear. But not what they had created. Their imagination, art, politics, literature, and language spread all over the world so that, today, it is hardly possible to speak on any subject without repeating what some Athenian said on the matter 2,500 years ago.
The second group of people lived in the place we now call Germany, and flourished about 1,700 years ago. We call them the Visigoths, and you may remember that your sixth or seventh-grade teacher mentioned them. They were spectacularly good horsemen, which is about the only pleasant thing history can say of them. They were marauders—ruthless and brutal. Their language lacked subtlety and depth. Their art was crude and even grotesque. They swept down through Europe destroying everything in their path, and they overran the Roman Empire. There was nothing a Visigoth liked better than to burn a book, desecrate a building, or smash a work of art. From the Visigoths, we have no poetry, no theater, no logic, no science, no humane politics.
Like the Athenians, the Visigoths also disappeared, but not before they had ushered in the period known as the Dark Ages. It took Europe almost a thousand years to recover from the Visigoths.
Now, the point I want to make is that the Athenians and the Visigoths still survive, and they do so through us and the ways in which we conduct our lives. All around us—in this hall, in this community, in our city—there are people whose way of looking at the world reflects the way of the Athenians, and there are people whose way is the way of the Visigoths. I do not mean, of course, that our modern-day Athenians roam abstractedly through the streets reciting poetry and philosophy, or that the modern-day Visigoths are killers. I mean that to be an Athenian or a Visigoth is to organize your life around a set of values. An Athenian is an idea. And a Visigoth is an idea. Let me tell you briefly what these ideas consist of.
To be an Athenian is to hold knowledge and, especially the quest for knowledge in high esteem. To contemplate, to reason, to experiment, to question—these are, to an Athenian, the most exalted activities a person can perform. To a Visigoth, the quest for knowledge is useless unless it can help you to earn money or to gain power over other people.
To be an Athenian is to cherish language because you believe it to be humankind’s most precious gift. In their use of language, Athenians strive for grace, precision, and variety. And they admire those who can achieve such skill. To a Visigoth, one word is as good as another, one sentence in distinguishable from another. A Visigoth’s language aspires to nothing higher than the cliche.
To be an Athenian is to understand that the thread which holds civilized society together is thin and vulnerable; therefore, Athenians place great value on tradition, social restraint, and continuity. To an Athenian, bad manners are acts of violence against the social order. The modern Visigoth cares very little about any of this. The Visigoths think of themselves as the center of the universe. Tradition exists for their own convenience, good manners are an affectation and a burden, and history is merely what is in yesterday’s newspaper.
To be an Athenian is to take an interest in public affairs and the improvement of public behavior. Indeed, the ancient Athenians had a word for people who did not. The word was idiotes, from which we get our word “idiot.” A modern Visigoth is interested only in his own affairs and has no sense of the meaning of community.
And, finally, to be an Athenian is to esteem the discipline, skill, and taste that are required to produce enduring art. Therefore, in approaching a work of art, Athenians prepare their imagination through learning and experience. To a Visigoth, there is no measure of artistic excellence except popularity. What catches the fancy of the multitude is good. No other standard is respected or even acknowledged by the Visigoth.
Now, it must be obvious what all of this has to do with you. Eventually, like the rest of us, you must be on one side or the other. You must be an Athenian or a Visigoth. Of course, it is much harder to be an Athenian, for you must learn how to be one, you must work at being one, whereas we are all, in a way, natural-born Visigoths. That is why there are so many more Visigoths than Athenians. And I must tell you that you do not become an Athenian merely by attending school or accumulating academic degrees. My father-in-law was one of the most committed Athenians I have ever known, and he spent his entire adult life working as a dress cutter on Seventh Avenue in New York City. On the other hand, I know physicians, lawyers, and engineers who are Visigoths of unmistakable persuasion. And I must also tell you, as much in sorrow as in shame, that at some of our great universities, perhaps even this one, there are professors of whom we may fairly say they are closet Visigoths. And yet, you must not doubt for a moment that a school, after all, is essentially an Athenian idea. There is a direct link between the cultural achievements of Athens and what the faculty at this university is all about. I have no difficulty imagining that Plato, Aristotle, or Democritus would be quite at home in our class rooms. A Visigoth would merely scrawl obscenities on the wall.
And so, whether you were aware of it or not, the purpose of your having been at this university was to give you a glimpse of the Athenian way, to interest you in the Athenian way. We cannot know on this day how many of you will choose that way and how many will not. You are young and it is not given to us to see your future. But I will tell you this, with which I will close: I can wish for you no higher compliment than that in the future it will be reported that among your graduating class the Athenians mightily outnumbered the Visigoths.
Thank you, and congratulations.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
since feeling is first
by e.e. cummings
since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don’t cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids’ flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life’s not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Wooden Secret
I was in the wooden secret
high and stage right service tunnel.
You beneath in white.
Welcome to the Big Apple Dinner Theater.
Previously, there with family,
A halting procession of forced inflection.
You two should try out
she said again.
Ignoring the signs as mothers do,
thinking instead of what is best.
It was then that I saw you.
Later, the tryouts.
Anxious harried persons erect like ranseurs,
Hustled by the personnel in fours and fives.
Yes and next and are you ready? No?
Instead I begged to come and simply watch again.
And so the next night set up in the curtain booth.
There were cues which I surely missed.
Left rope right rope follow the script,
surrounded in graffiti and counting lines till you
appeared.
She elbowed you and pointed to my perch together giggling.
There was a vast contestation of parts
the following Sunday afternoon. But
no svelte arms no almond eyeballs -
maybe it's a sign.
I never went back who knows what happened.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Notes III
In adherence to the internal logic governing such
experiences
And I’m like, “rude girl why you so babies”
Well served by
Artfully enunciate the particulars of my embarrassment
Linked // wooden platform
Sat at the
edge, feet dangling beneath unseen knees
Clenching
to describe progress/kicking
Coiled tin viper
What would be required to arrest this state?
A constant broadcast signal
Reliable
Relatable
Communicatable
A tread inconstant
The Attribute!
Imagined ß---à
Real
A firm
rooting in the real
Less
interesting? More productive? More stable?
How does
this relate to empathy if imagination is required for empathy?
If you love something, hurt it
If it leaves it wasn’t meant to be
If it stays, hurt it some more
Liquid in cups cracked vessels betraying their amputure
rising like glass stalks in clusters in groves of wet luminescence around us
these are people
Perfection is attainable
Sorrow is beautiful
I wanna be Valjean but I’m still Javert
Post and lintel with a wide load, built to bear
Built to care, built to stare
I lost control of half my face
That was the half that was least appreciative
They ran a train on your self-esteem
Prepare to repel boarders
Set pikes to repel charge
Pulchritude, swerve
Mammon, blowing horns at Jericho
Touched his face compulsively like he was hiding behind a
branch; affixed cheek to palm by twine or circumstance
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Lists
I make lists. Compulsively. Part of my relationship with writing is the desire to preserve information. Looking back I see no throughline because I forget. I forget things that shouldn't be forgotten.
And so I write things down before they're gone. Albums to buy, movies to watch, groceries. Phrases. Behavioral protocols. Workout plans. Gift ideas. Symbols. Quotations. I even keep lists of things I want to spend time thinking about later. Really process and possess. Here are some of those things:
And so I write things down before they're gone. Albums to buy, movies to watch, groceries. Phrases. Behavioral protocols. Workout plans. Gift ideas. Symbols. Quotations. I even keep lists of things I want to spend time thinking about later. Really process and possess. Here are some of those things:
- Social Deviance - flaunting of norms is the staple of the ego complex
- Heteroglossia - the coexistance of multiple narrative voices decentralizing authority
- Homophily - tendency to associate with those who are similar and reinforce preexisting beliefs
- Rehearsal - relationship between psychopathy and rehearsal
- Hegelian Cycle - thesis, antithesis, synthesis
- Foxes vs. Hedgehogs - I have no idea what this was about
- Neil deGrasse Tyson - "History is replete with people attempting to layer their own philosophical elegance onto the Universe."
- Galvanism - ancient theory about the possible electrical basis of nerve impulses
- Stendhal Syndrome - psychosomatic illness resulting from exposure to art or beauty
- Gödel's incompleteness theorems - any system that does not contradict itself is inherently incomplete. There is no complete model
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Humility
Recently I've been experiencing what could be described as a
crisis of doubt. I was listening to Duncan Trussell, and was reminded of some
things long forgotten. I was less calcified once.
My position on religion, on faith generally, is
well-codified by now. I have the talking points down. It is a solid platform.
There are footnotes and addenda. It is perfectly defensible. Is it true?
Well, that’s something else altogether.
It’s no secret that I’m angry. Beneath the cake-up make-up
I’m seething from the moment God is mentioned. I go to church on Christmas
because it means so much to Mom, but I spend the whole time vacillating between
boredom, smugness, and disgust. I sneak glances at one of my exes as she chats
with parishioners and shushes her kids. I think about how she’s holding up
rather well, all things considered. I wonder if her perversions have abated or
evolved. I try to text discreetly.
I otherwise avoid the matter entirely. But when that hate flares it’s ugly. I know it. I’m not
proud. You may well have seen me three or four drinks in and nipping at my own
lips spitting bitter shit. Religion is the bastion of the stupid, the base, the
fat and bleating boors. A cudgel used to disfigure children and spread horror.
The root of wars and the death of thought and the great barrier to social
advancement. Throw them to the lions. It’s that real rage that only comes from
disappointment. Losing Jesus was like finding out about Santa Claus and the
wound bleeds still. Even when dormant it’s a sign of tectonic activity.
In calmer moments this is presented as a matter of humility
– that religion in any sense is an unimaginable act of arrogance. That any
human could dare claim to know the secrets of the Universe, we who know so
little and the little we know so hard won. It is an act of childish fancy that
deserves no more than a pat on the head.
Even more troubling than arrogance is the ingratitude. That
a person could consider the vast panoply of splendors that is experience in all
its forms, that he or she could take in all the colors and all the words and
all the dawns and all the gasps of new life and acts of sacrifice and songs of
devotion and the array of quanta and the waltzing of the cosmos and conclude:
"This is not enough. I need something more."
It’s quite an argument. But there is something to be said for scientific humility,
as well. There are two types of scientists, those who labor in the trenches and
those who dig them. The men and women who conduct the daily business of
experiment and inquiry need not worry overly much about upsetting the apple
cart. They conduct themselves within a framework that has been provided for
them by their forebears. Sound familiar? Certainly they may question this or
that, and may publish some very serious paper about some very serious matter
and so eke out some further thrust of territory and enlarge the field.
But what of those who redefine fields entirely? The paradigm
breakers who are willing to face ridicule to pursue a seemingly mad venture?
Often they fail. Usually. But those who succeed are renowned as great, and does
not that greatness require faith? It's imaginative work. It's construction. It's fantasy. And when that separation from the flock is met with rebuke what else but faith can sustain that fantasy?
Is the absence of faith a weakness or a strength?
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Retrospect
Another one in the can, and so the time is ripe to assess what's come before. As if I need an excuse.
I can't leave well enough alone, and so we close out 2012 with an old-fashioned bridge burning. I'm a giant asshole for trying to preserve a friendship with someone I cared so much about. Fuck me, right?
Actually...yeah.
It was a false premise. Truth is I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I thought I could be Joe Cool about the whole situation but that was clearly not the case. Ten minutes in and I'm nauseous. So I push "the talk." What did I want to talk about? Who the hell knows. I thought we could salvage something but it wasn't friendship. It was the same process of defibrillation we've used the last few times things slid into cardiac arrest. "Oh, you're not feeling it? CLEAR!"
A little nostalgia and a lot of vodka. Do not recommend.
So here we are, and there's decent odds that we'll never speak again. It's really a shame. Before I got pulled out by the pity undertow I was sincerely interested in transitioning into friends. I really cared about her - more than anyone I've been with for years. You shouldn't throw something like that away just because the romance failed. And let's face it, it failed long before the move. Neither of us was really satisfied and there was no indication that that would change. But despite whatever intentions I began with I wasn't ready. I should have waited.
The moral of this story is that being an adult means controlling your goddamn feelings. Being sensitive is not a license to roll around on the floor like a child. Man up.
Looking forward, there is much to do. The solution is not to find someone who can provide whatever resource it is that I lack, but rather to learn how to generate that resource on my own. Be the type of person who you would respect.
The self-loathing that characterizes so many of my poor behavioral choices, from social hesitance to excess drinking, is rooted in a lack of self-respect. The thing I'm afraid to say is that part of fixating on a particular girl is the belief that I can't do better. It's fear-based, and like all fear-based thinking it is as flawed as it is reactionary. I don't believe that I'm worthy of someone like Katie. And you know what? I'm not. It's time to stop lashing out at others and feeling sorry for myself. Don't like your life? Change it.
And so we move into Phase Three. From the initial tragedy of KotB we dropped weight and rewired a bit. It's now time to do the finishing work needed to realize my potential. Time is running out.
Considering migrating this blog to Tumblr.
I can't leave well enough alone, and so we close out 2012 with an old-fashioned bridge burning. I'm a giant asshole for trying to preserve a friendship with someone I cared so much about. Fuck me, right?
Actually...yeah.
It was a false premise. Truth is I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I thought I could be Joe Cool about the whole situation but that was clearly not the case. Ten minutes in and I'm nauseous. So I push "the talk." What did I want to talk about? Who the hell knows. I thought we could salvage something but it wasn't friendship. It was the same process of defibrillation we've used the last few times things slid into cardiac arrest. "Oh, you're not feeling it? CLEAR!"
A little nostalgia and a lot of vodka. Do not recommend.
So here we are, and there's decent odds that we'll never speak again. It's really a shame. Before I got pulled out by the pity undertow I was sincerely interested in transitioning into friends. I really cared about her - more than anyone I've been with for years. You shouldn't throw something like that away just because the romance failed. And let's face it, it failed long before the move. Neither of us was really satisfied and there was no indication that that would change. But despite whatever intentions I began with I wasn't ready. I should have waited.
The moral of this story is that being an adult means controlling your goddamn feelings. Being sensitive is not a license to roll around on the floor like a child. Man up.
Looking forward, there is much to do. The solution is not to find someone who can provide whatever resource it is that I lack, but rather to learn how to generate that resource on my own. Be the type of person who you would respect.
The self-loathing that characterizes so many of my poor behavioral choices, from social hesitance to excess drinking, is rooted in a lack of self-respect. The thing I'm afraid to say is that part of fixating on a particular girl is the belief that I can't do better. It's fear-based, and like all fear-based thinking it is as flawed as it is reactionary. I don't believe that I'm worthy of someone like Katie. And you know what? I'm not. It's time to stop lashing out at others and feeling sorry for myself. Don't like your life? Change it.
And so we move into Phase Three. From the initial tragedy of KotB we dropped weight and rewired a bit. It's now time to do the finishing work needed to realize my potential. Time is running out.
Considering migrating this blog to Tumblr.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)